40 – Bad Words In 2010 (Part One)

There are bad words and then there are bad words. Traditionally swearing was frowned upon as a terrible use of language but even in my lifetime this has become a lot more relaxed. TV and radio is prepared to push the limit of what is acceptable and let these words be aired more and more often giving a message that it is OK. Words like ‘Damn’ and ‘Bloody’ 50 years ago were shocking things to say, today you wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

I couldn’t really care less about if you swear or not. I think that there is a certain level of respect in certain situations where it is not ideal to swear. I also think that there is a greater underlying problem in our language that is far worse than swearing, words of indecisiveness and not believing in your own ability.

In my book If You Believe You Can Achieve I talked about the danger of putting your mood out to the world in a negative way with bad words. Negativity breeds negatively and so if you are in feeling down, sick, frustrated or stressed by your situation by writing it down you are amplifying the fact. I’m not saying that is easy and you might not want to put out a lie instead to the world that you are feeling great but what is really to be achieved by complaining.

What impresses me about Jessica Watson from reading her book True Spirit is not that she sailed around the world but her attitude and level of maturity. She says in her book that some days she did feel down so instead didn’t write a blog as she knew all it would do is make others worried about her when she knew she was OK. Don’t get me wrong, by saying you feel crap you will also receive sympathy but is it healthy to be seeking sympathy for what is very minor most of the time? The words below are from an unknown source but show how your thoughts lead to your destiny.

Watch your thoughts; they lead to attitudes.
Watch your attitudes; they lead to words.
Watch your words; they lead to actions.
Watch your actions; they lead to habits.
Watch your habits; they form your character.
Watch your character; it determines your destiny.

The second part of our language I disagree with is how uncommitted we have become. If you receive a wedding invitation there is not an option for Yes, No or Maybe. You are either in or your not and there is no deciding on the day. You reply because it is important for catering purposes and having enough space. You know it will cost the bride and groom money if you say Yes and don’t come, so you commit to your answer.

Now let’s change the Wedding to a 32nd Birthday party where the host is going to supply beer and pizza. As the event is not a milestone as such we tend to be far more relaxed with a reply. Taking Facebook as an example there are three options, Yes, No or Maybe. You would assume Yes means you are coming, No that you are not and Maybe that you are seeing if there is a better offer on the night or don’t really want to come and so use this option as a cop out.

Here’s the problem, we perceive certain events to be less important than others because of the costs involved and frequency of the event. In this example a wedding might be $100 a head per guest and a one off celebration, whilst beer and pizza for a 32nd birthday is $10 per person and one of many birthdays to come, but surely it is not hard to decide on a Yes or No?

Remember the little things form your habits and if you can’t commit to a simple yes or no for an event then what will happen when you need to go to the gym to get fit, lose some weight or progress in your career. There is no such thing as Maybe in these situations, you Do or you Don’t, it is Yes or No.

Check Out Part Two of Bad Words later this week!

Chris Bellesini
Remember, You Too, Can
Choose Your Own Success

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Chris Bellesini, September 7th 2010 | Tags: , , , , ,
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38 – The Fear Factor

With only a few days until we have to vote, most Australians will be sick of all the negative campaigning that goes on with any election and happy to see it over and done with. It becomes as much as why not to vote for the other party as it is to vote for them. It is a known fact that people are more likely to act out of the fear factor then out of pleasure. We are voting for politician that paint a dark picture of what will happen if they don’t win first and secondly on what they can do for us.

The same goes for everything you do, the fear factor will drive your decisions and ultimately when faced with the big decisions fear will outweigh pleasure. A classic example is your job, the number of people I know who are not happy is staggering. They say they want to get into their dream job or start a business but never take action. What holds them back is fear, the uncertainty of a making that leap of faith which could lead to a pleasurable outcome is outweighed by the fear of what might be if it doesn’t work out.

The greatest achievements are born from those that are willing to take a risk and get out of their comfort zones to confront their fears. The more you confront a fear the easier it becomes and over time it no longer registers as a fear. In Jessica Watson’s documentary True Spirit she talks about how she used to be petrified of climbing the mast of a yacht. Now because she has done it so many times it is natural and she needs a more dangerous activity (or perceived danger) for her body to feel fear like it used to from this activity.

It goes to show that fear factor is only a reaction to something new where we don’t know the outcome. So why do the politicians play on our fears? Because they know it works and once we cast our vote it no longer matters.

Many in the media are saying that it is the worst choice of prime ministers that we have had in years. Maybe it is, I don’t have an opinion, I just work with what I am given. One thing I do have an opinion on is I disagree with the focus of these campaigns, rather than presenting what is best, we are presented with the worst of the opposition.

Like any choice you go with what you think will have the best outcome for you. For what it is worth I believe this choice should not be made out of fear but out of what the winning candidate will bring to the table.

Chris Bellesini
Remember, You Too, Can
Choose Your Own Success

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Chris Bellesini, August 17th 2010 | Tags: , , , ,
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37 – Birthday Blog!

Hooray! Today is my birthday, it is no different to any other day really except for the next 365 days when I state my age the 8 is replaced with a 9. Like New Years Eve, it can be a time where new goals are set but rarely followed through with. Therefore today I am announcing some of my goals, the difference being they are not new goals. Many would have heard them before as I have brainstormed and refined what I plan to do. In fact these goals have been in the pipeline for ages which is part of the key to success, planning and preparation. Like the old saying goes if you fail to plan, plan to fail!

Click To Join This FaceBook Group!!

The first big goal I have is to complete a series of Marathons With A Message over the next twelve months (and beyond!). I have been searching for crazy ways to challenge myself and done a lot of reading and research over the last couple of years. I love that inspiring characters such as Dick and Rick Hoyt, John MacLean and Lance Armstrong did not let injury and illness set them back. I also love the attitudes of Jessica Watson, and the boys from Crossing the ditch James Castrission and Justin Jones had to their adventures. They all knew what they wanted and went for it despite the people who pipe up to say it is not possible.

In the past 18 months I’ve looked at dribbling a basketball crazy distances and even tested the waters by officially applying for a few world records. In the end I decided to go with a challenge that fits my lifestyle perfectly and enables me to do all the things I love. This includes combining my business, sport, writing and speaking. Sure beats completing tax returns in a cubicle like I could have still been doing. Marathons With A Message is also designed to resonate with you so you can take the messages that apply in your life.

My first challenge is to complete a marathon by going two steps forward, one step backwards and repeating an estimated 52,000 times to cover the 42.2km marathon distance. It is appropriate I start with this challenge because when I quit my accounting job four years ago I wanted to do certain things by the time I was 30. I’ve already achieved more than I had hoped but also not what I expected in many ways.

We receive knockbacks, disappointments, injuries, and things don’t turn out how we planned. It can be hard but as long as the underlying lesson is learned, enduring the hard times can be the best thing. The key is to keep moving forward knowing that this is part of life and inevitably it will happen again. If you don’t stop you will eventually complete that goal or marathon. Persistence pays off.

Since it is my birthday I’d love you to do me a favour and join my new facebook page based around my Marathons With A Message theme.

Click here to join!

Chris Bellesini
Remember, You Too, Can
Choose Your Own Success

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Chris Bellesini, August 12th 2010 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
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30 – Jessica Watson, Dare To Dream

Jessica Watson is due to complete her solo sailing voyage around the world on Sunday and be the youngest person to do. She set off at age 16 with a large amount of criticism that she was too young, that her parents were irresponsible for letting her go and that she should be at school. I say good on her for going for her dreams and go on her parents for supporting that dream. You might think it is easy to say now that she is almost safely home but that was always my attitude. Why live a life I wondering what might of been when it can be.

http://www.jessicawatson.com.au

Jessica Watson had a burning desire inside her to do complete the trip and she would have been unhappy had she stayed home. I have read Jesse Martin’s book Lionheart and once at the age of 14 he had made his mind up that he wanted to be sail around the world that was all he could think about. His schooling suffered as he daydreamed but his education continued. He become extremely knowledgeable about the sea and how to sail. He also packed over 100 books on board for his 11 month journey.

There is nothing like learning whilst doing. Jesse Martin had only sailed his yacht Lionheart for 3 hours solo before he started his trip. When you are passionate you can adapt easily and learn anything. No doubt Jessica Watson experience is much the same, you can’t train to confront 10m waves or your mast breaking and having to adapt, when it happens you deal with it and learn on the fly.

Too often our dreams are crushed by those that don’t think something is possible for them and therefore it must not be possible for you either. Jessica Watson had to have a strong enough team around her to reinforce that what she was doing was possible. She needed people to bounce off when the media and ‘experienced’ sailors who had never gone beyond the bay put doubt in her mind.

As humans what we think is possible depends on whether it has been achieved before and our own frame of mind. The four minute mile is a classic example. Once this milestone was achieved, a series of runners all started to believe they could do it too, and they did. Whether we think it is possible for us is always the second hurdle to get over. You may witness a friend renovate a property and make $100,000 and think it is OK for them but you could never do that. You can, you just need to believe it!

We need people like Jessica Watson and Jesse Martin to lead the way and show us that the possible is possible. They are just ordinary people with the courage to follow their dream, I applaud that and congratulate Jessica Watson on living that dream.

Chris Bellesini
Remember, You Too, Can
Choose Your Own Success

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Chris Bellesini, May 14th 2010 | Tags: , , , ,
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