There are bad words and then there are bad words. Traditionally swearing was frowned upon as a terrible use of language but even in my lifetime this has become a lot more relaxed. TV and radio is prepared to push the limit of what is acceptable and let these words be aired more and more often giving a message that it is OK. Words like ‘Damn’ and ‘Bloody’ 50 years ago were shocking things to say, today you wouldn’t bat an eyelid.
I couldn’t really care less about if you swear or not. I think that there is a certain level of respect in certain situations where it is not ideal to swear. I also think that there is a greater underlying problem in our language that is far worse than swearing, words of indecisiveness and not believing in your own ability.
In my book If You Believe You Can Achieve I talked about the danger of putting your mood out to the world in a negative way with bad words. Negativity breeds negatively and so if you are in feeling down, sick, frustrated or stressed by your situation by writing it down you are amplifying the fact. I’m not saying that is easy and you might not want to put out a lie instead to the world that you are feeling great but what is really to be achieved by complaining.
What impresses me about Jessica Watson from reading her book True Spirit is not that she sailed around the world but her attitude and level of maturity. She says in her book that some days she did feel down so instead didn’t write a blog as she knew all it would do is make others worried about her when she knew she was OK. Don’t get me wrong, by saying you feel crap you will also receive sympathy but is it healthy to be seeking sympathy for what is very minor most of the time? The words below are from an unknown source but show how your thoughts lead to your destiny.
Watch your thoughts; they lead to attitudes.
Watch your attitudes; they lead to words.
Watch your words; they lead to actions.
Watch your actions; they lead to habits.
Watch your habits; they form your character.
Watch your character; it determines your destiny.
The second part of our language I disagree with is how uncommitted we have become. If you receive a wedding invitation there is not an option for Yes, No or Maybe. You are either in or your not and there is no deciding on the day. You reply because it is important for catering purposes and having enough space. You know it will cost the bride and groom money if you say Yes and don’t come, so you commit to your answer.
Now let’s change the Wedding to a 32nd Birthday party where the host is going to supply beer and pizza. As the event is not a milestone as such we tend to be far more relaxed with a reply. Taking Facebook as an example there are three options, Yes, No or Maybe. You would assume Yes means you are coming, No that you are not and Maybe that you are seeing if there is a better offer on the night or don’t really want to come and so use this option as a cop out.
Here’s the problem, we perceive certain events to be less important than others because of the costs involved and frequency of the event. In this example a wedding might be $100 a head per guest and a one off celebration, whilst beer and pizza for a 32nd birthday is $10 per person and one of many birthdays to come, but surely it is not hard to decide on a Yes or No?
Remember the little things form your habits and if you can’t commit to a simple yes or no for an event then what will happen when you need to go to the gym to get fit, lose some weight or progress in your career. There is no such thing as Maybe in these situations, you Do or you Don’t, it is Yes or No.
Check Out Part Two of Bad Words later this week!
Chris Bellesini
Remember, You Too, Can
Choose Your Own Success
